Q&A with the USA
by TortoiseShellHermit
Summary: America's boss tells America to find a way to reconnect with the public...America decides that the best way to do this is to let the people ask him anything they like. Have fun, people.
1. Chapter 1

Greetings, my fellow Americans! ...unless you aren't Americans. In which case...greetings, my fellow...not-Americans? Wait, this sounds stupid. Let me start over.

Greetings, whoever you are! This is your old pal, the United States of America! And...I need your help.

See, I was just sitting at my desk today, minding my own business, when my boss comes in and says, 'America, in these difficult times, I think you need to work harder on connecting to the American people.'

And I said, 'Wow, boss. I would love to, but I'm in the middle of some other really important work right now, so I can't.'

And he said, 'Playing six straight hours of Robot Unicorn Attack isn't work.'

So I spend the rest of the day _not_ blowing up unicorns like I wanted to, but thinking of a way to reconnect to the people...

And then! Eureka! I've got it! I'll open the floor for questions, and everybody can ask me aaaaaanything they want! It's brilliant, right? This way I get closer to the public again, and my boss can't say I never do what he tells me to. And _you_ lucky folks get an up-close and personal look at the best...I-I mean, _one of the best_ countries in the world! (Boss says I'm not allowed to say I'm the number one best anymore.) A-anyway, everyone wins.

So all you Americans, come ask me all those deep, burning questions you've been dying to ask! Ask and America will answer! And I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God!

And all you non-Americans too, because...talking to you guys should count as 'improving international relations,' right? Yeah! My boss is always telling me to do more of that!

Hell, I'll even answer _personal_ questions. Like, uh...whether I wear boxers or briefs! (It's boxers, for the record.)

So go crazy! Ask to your heart's content!

* * *

Author's Note:

I saw some of these Q&A style fics floating around and it looked like fun, so I thought I'd try one myself! Yes, I know one has been done already for America, but I figured I'd put my own spin on things and see where it goes.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again, folks! America here, back to save the day from unanswered questions! Let's just jump right in...what have we got here today...

**hi USA here is my question, do you like, love, or have Sex with England?**

asdcfjdskf,jbcsdkjcsjnxcsk

Uh, 'scuse me, just choked on my coffee there. The answer is NO. No, no, no, and especially no to the last one!

...well, I guess I like him okay, in a 'it's fun to piss him off and make fun of his cooking' kind of way, but that's it! MOVING ON.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**So, how do you feel about the states? **

I love my states! They're like my kids...kinda. Adopted kids, I guess, since I found 'em wandering around kinda like how England found me when I was little. My oldest states are almost like little brother and sisters since we're closer in age, but they all still call me 'dad.'

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**Hi America! I have some questions for you!!  
your fav food after hamburgers?**

Apple pie! Y'know how they say something is 'as American as apple pie?' It's in my blood to love apple pie, yep!

**2Whos your fav sibling?**

Don't tell Australia or New Zealand, but it's Canada. I like all my bros, but me and Canada are neighbors. It's different. ...Australia and New Zealand are more fun than Canada, though. I love my hat, but he's kinda boring when it's not hockey season or the Olympics.

** more awesome, you of Prussia?**

What kind of question is that?! Me, obviously.

** you have proof?**

Yeah, _I still exist_. Beat that, Prussia, you ex-country.

** you had to have a sidekick, who would you choose and why?**

A sidekick? Like how Robin is with Batman? Hm...my gut says I should go with Lithuania! He's a good guy to have around.

** are you so epic?**

That's what freedom and justice and democracy and not-communism do to a guy. They make him epic.

** you marry me? *shot***

**~Otter **

Sorry, no can do! For one thing, weddings are flippin' expensive, and, y'know...recession. I'm sort of broke. Plus, I don't know you well enough! And relationships with humans...they all tend to end in tears...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**Alright, America, as an American, (A United States of America, American, to specify, as we DO have more than one country that can classify as being American, you know u-u )I have a couple questions for you.**

Pshaw, splittin' hairs about it. Americans are Americans!

**Which state is your favorite? I won't tell you which I'm from, so no pressure .**

Aw, you can't make me pick between my kids! I-I mean, I guess I'm pretty close to my thirteen oldest, especial Virginia since she was my first...Delaware argues that he's older, but I found Virginia way back before I ever thought about declaring independence...but I love all my states!

**What fast food place is your favorite? I think fandom dictates that it's McDonalds, but do you prefer something else? Burger King? Wendy's? Jack-in-the-Box? What about non-burger places, do you eat there? Like Taco Bell or KFC or something? **

What's with all these hard questions? Well...McDonalds has the best fries, but Burger King has better burgers, though the best burgers ever are at Five Guys, and KFC is the best if you like chicken, but Dairy Queen has awesome ice cream, and Taco Bell is the best for cheap tacos, and Papa Johns is a must have when you want pizza, but sometimes I'm really in the mood for White Castle, and Subway's pretty good too and...

...dammit, now I'm hungry.

**I know your alien friend's name is Tony. What's the whale's name? **

Moby Dick! I usually just call him Moby.

**Hm...how do you feel about some of the more popular pairings the fandom puts you in? Like US/UK, US/Japan, US/Canada, etc.**

It's a little creepy to see all these stories about me shacking up with...practically everyone. I mean, imagine if you found all these stories about you having sex with the guys you work with! Or your brother! Kinda awkward. And I'm single right now anyway! ...

**...I think I asked too many D:**

**/gives you some cheeseburgers and backs away/**

You can ask all the questions you like if you bring more burgers!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**Bwahaha! Good idea America! Oh! OH! I WANT TO ASK A QUESTION!**

**WERE YOU WINNING AT THAT UNICORN GAME? AND WAS THE CLIMAX OF THE GAME WHEN PENGUINS SUDDENLY DECIDED TO JUMP IN AND TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD? **

Th-there are penguins at the end?! I only ever get the dolphins! How many points does it take to get penguins?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**while I like you and find you awesome can you please be nicer to Canada?(since he is your brother) besides Ukraine and Prussia, you seem to be the only one you remembers him. **

What are you talking about? I'm nice to Canada! Okay, maybe I tease him about being boring and obsessed with maple syrup and hockey and how there's nothing at his house except for a bunch of moose...it's just brother stuff! He teases me too, so it's fair!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**love this idea! here are some questions **  
**  
1. what are your favorite customs from other countries which are not you own?**

I like Japan's cherry blossom...party-carnival-festival thing. He gave me a bunch of cherry trees a while back, so I get to have my own festival in the spring too, when they bloom and get all pretty. But it's not as big a deal as it is at Japan's house. He's crazy about his cherry blossoms.

**2. what customs do you find strange? **

Other than everything Russia ever does ever? Guy Fawkes Day is weird. I can get behind the fireworks, but burning the effigy is just creepy. England is such a weirdo sometimes. **  
**  
**3. what was it like having Toris at your house?**

It was awesome. He's really nice and a great cook...and he makes a mean cup of joe!

**4. why do you called England Iggy? **

Because he hates when I call him that. Actually it's Japan's nickname for him, I just picked it up and he got all angry and red faced about it...so I kept calling him that! He's so funny when he's mad.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**why did you start the American revolution against England? **

Because I wanted to be free! He wouldn't let me make my own decisions or have a voice of my own...he thought he always knew what was best for me, but he didn't. And he wouldn't even listen to my side of the story! So I revolted, so I could become my own country...and it all turned out pretty good, huh?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**What is this...?!**

**I'm America, you nonheroic imersponater! -gasp- How could you insult me in such a way?!**

**If you really are America, what did you say to Iggy at exactly 3:23 PM on July 1, 1813?**

**And what did you do with Canada on 8:56 AM on August 18, 1813?**

**HM? HM?**

**FROM**

**THE REAL HERO**

**Alfred F Jones (America) **

Whoa whoa whoa! If anybody's a fake here, it's you, buddy! Damn, are you a clone? I've never had a clone before...or maybe an alien! Yeah, you could be one of those aliens who changes to look like people, and then once I let my guard down, you'll slit me open with your alien claws and lay eggs in my stomach!

No, wait. You've got all these exact dates and times recorded...I got it! You're a robot! Ha, you thought you'd pull a fast one on old America, didn't you?! Well, no robot is going to trick me! You have to get up pretty early to fool America!

But wait, if you're a robot, how did you know what happened in 1813...you must be a time traveling robot! Heh, I figured you out, didn't I!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That's all for now! Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

[AN: Sorry this is a bit late, school has been busy. Oh jeez, the formatting's gone weird...sorry, this chapter might look a little different.]

Hi, guys! I'm back, and ready to tackle more of your questions!

**Alfred,  
Since Italy`s got his ero-zone...what happens if someone touches nantucket... *evil smirk***

**-A random passer-by **

Keep your hands to yourself! I-it's nothing like that, I just hate having my hair messed with!

* * *

**YOU'RE the clone, you unheroic CLONE..ROBOT..THING! For I am the REAL Alfred Jones!**

**BTW How could 'Alfred' ever forget what happened at those moments! YOU ARE THE IMPOSTER, BUDDY!**

**3:23 PM July 1, 1813 = "Well that was a nice birthday gift." after being shot in the arm twice, which is why 'you' (aka I) can't move my arm counterclockwise properly! HAH**

**At 8:56 AM on August 18, 1813 YOU RAPED HIS BRAINS HOW**

**HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT, 'ALFRED'?! MATTIE DIDN'T LET ME TOUCH HIM FOR YEARS AFTER THE WAR ENDED!**

**You, my alien-robot friend, are the TRUE time-traveling-alien-robot!**

**THE REAL HERO**

**Alfred F Jones (America) **

What.

What?  
WHAT?!

Y-you better be an alternate universe time traveling robot, because I'm going to kick your ass if you seriously raped my bro! ...actually, I should kick your ass even if you raped an alternate universe Canada. But even worse if it's in MY universe! Just as soon as I figure out where you are! No one can hide from America!

….except maybe for Bin Laden. But he doesn't count!

* * *

**... I thought I already sent these... huh. Anyways~**

**Hey :D America :D Cool~ Jeeze, your boss is silly, Robot Unicorn Attack is /amazing/ :O I love the background song, it's so cool :D  
**

He just can't appreciate the joy of rainbow unicorns that explode. I've got the song as my ringtone! ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY OOOOH LOVE~

**Anyways.**

**Questions:**

**1) On a scale of 1 - 10, how awesome are Canadians? Or just Canada in general?**

Ummm...during hockey season, maybe a 7. Normally, I guess 3 or 4. But it's a 10 during the Olympics! Man, I miss it already...

**2) Since you mentioned boxers there, it made me curious. Is it true that you've got the American Flag on your boxers?**

Yep! American flags boxers are the best kind!

**3) What first comes to mind when I say the following words: Awesome, England, Jigglypuff, Pencil and Kiss (totally just picked those from thin air XD)**

Awesome = Me.

England = Eyebrows.

Jigglypuff = Squishy.

Pencil = Work.

Kiss = French.

...w-wait, that last one sounds wrong. I was thinking about French kissing, not...kissing France.

**4) What's your opinion on maple syrup?  
**

Only belongs on pancakes or waffles. Anywhere else is weird and gross.

**That's all the questions for now :D**

**Oh, and can I have a hug? :D**

Well, since you asked nicely! I've got no problem with a good old fashioned wholesome hug!

**Lot's o' Love,**

**~Ultra Drama Queen **

**

* * *

**

**What is your favorite state to visit? **

All my states have fun place to visit...but, well, Florida has Disney World. It's hard to top Disney World!

* * *

**Where is your favorite place to vacation? (In and out of the awesome place called the US?)**

**Love,  
An AMERICAN ** YEAH **

Like I was saying earlier, I love going to Disney World an awful lot...and Disneyland too. Outside of my house...I guess Toyko's pretty fun. Japan's always got the weirdest stuff over there. Some of it's kind of creepy, though. Not sure what to make of those body-pillow things that look like people. And then I caught him selling those...hentai doujin things, y'know, comic book porn, about other nations...but most of his stuff is fun! Lots of video games!

* * *

**Great story! I have to say I really enjoy this. Thanks so much for writing this. God bless!**

**I have an address to America-sama:**

**America-sama, it's truly an honor to meet a new hero. I have lots of questions! You're real close to Japan now, but what was it like fighting him in World War II? What did you think of dropping the A-bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? What was your relationship with him like afterwords?**

Damn, this is bringing back some tough memories...but I promised to tell the whole truth, so I will. Japan was a very different guy back during the war...I guess I was too, but he was nothing like he is now. He was...really scary. The guys in Europe think Germany was scary back then, but he was nothing compared to Japan. And I couldn't understand him at all. I still don't get the whole kamikaze thing, and it don't really WANT to get it either. I really hated him after Pearl Harbor. I mean really HATED him, but I guess he hated me too or he wouldn't have attacked me, right?

So we kept fighting and things got worse and worse...Okinawa was a nightmare...and so many had died already and I just wanted to end it finally and make it all stop. And then we got the bomb...and you gotta understand, we had never used it against anyone before. No one really knew for sure what it would do to a city. But they told me that if we used the bomb, a lot of people would die, but it would stop the war, so it might actually spare more lives than it took. So, I gave the go ahead.

Well, you know what happened. The bombs were a lot worse then I imagined. I still remember the first time I went to Hiroshima after the nuke...I'd never seen anything like it, and I don't want to ever again.

And after that...I wanted to try to fix things up for him. It was like...after Hiroshima and Nagasaki, I didn't feel like I hated him so much anymore. I don't know why. Maybe I just felt really guilty. So I started trying to help, getting his people food and medicine and stuff, trying to get them back on their feet...Japan was really quiet for a while. Didn't talk much, never smiled, spent most of his time staring off into space...but then one day, I was out with him, taking him for a walk (he was still in a wheelchair then, 'cause the bombs made him all weak and he couldn't walk much without wearing himself out) and these kids came up and were asking for candy. My soldiers had a reputation of always having candy to give to children, so Japan's kids got real friendly about coming up to American soldiers to ask for candy. I had a bunch of chocolate bars on me, so I was breaking them up and giving them to the kids, and they were really cute and excited about it...and then I looked back and Japan was smiling. And I think that was when I realized that things were gonna be okay between us. And I was right. We were okay.

...w-well, that's how it went. Good to know you can become friends with the guy who used to be your worst enemy, huh?

**Oh, and my best friend is Canadian. Can you tell him that America is better? **

America is more awesome. But don't worry, some of the awesome rubbed off on Canada, since we're neighbors!

* * *

**/returns with more burgers/**

You're always welcome around here if you keep it up!

**...and less questions than last time...**

**Who is your favorite (American, I meant, but otherwise, if you'd like) superhero? And do you prefer Marvel or DC? (this is apparently a serious debate among people who are very obsessed with those sorts of comics)**

Favorite superhero's gotta be Superman. He's a classic! He's faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

Oh hell...even though Superman's my favorite overall superhero, I think I'm gonna have to go for Marvel. They've got Spider-Man and Iron Man and Captain America...but then DC's got Batman too...it's a tough call! I like both!

**Were there ever any particularly influential people in American history that you were good friends with? Or just respected in general, maybe?  
**

Yep, a lot of famous Americans were my friends. Ben Franklin was a lot of fun to hang out with...he was so funny, and really smart too. He used to take me kite flying, and taught me how to play chess and the glass harmonica...those were fun times. I was close to lots of my bosses too.

Oh, and Amelia Earhart! Can't believe I almost forgot Amelia. She was really special...I wish I knew what happened to her. It was really hard after she disappeared. I kept waiting for her to come back, but she never did...

Don't tell, but I kind of had a crush on her.

**That's all for now! **

Thanks for the burgers!

* * *

**America can you please be nicer to England? he already gets enough bulling from his brothers, However keep the nickname, Iggy just so annoyingly cute:) P.s your one of my favorite nations tide with Canada **

I don't bully him! I just pick on him a little. How am I supposed to be nicer, anyway? I'm not gonna tell him his food doesn't suck, so don't even ask.

You've got good taste in nations!

* * *

**I support your reason for starting the revolution! here are my questions**

**1. why is tony staying at your house and also way have you only shown him to Lithuania and Iggy? **

...actually, I'm not sure why Tony hangs around. I guess because we're friends now! But at the beginning, maybe it was some kind of observing the human race mission thing. He's always really vague about his home planet and what he was doing before he came here.

I dunno, I just haven't really gotten around to introducing him to everyone. Canada's met him too, and I think Japan might have run into him once or twice. Anyway, it's kinda funny when someone meets Tony for the first time. They usually freak out a little.

**2. have you ever consider making or ask Japan for a superhero outfit like batman did?**

I thought about it, but I decided not to since Japan might show up with one of the 'magical girl' outfits instead. You can never be sure with him. He's got some weird ideas about superheros.

**3. who was your favorite president  
**

Tough question! Washington was kind of like my dad, Lincoln was really important to me and helped me through the worst times in my whole life, FDR was sort of fatherly to me too and always knew how to cheer me up, Kennedy was really charming and likable...I love a lot of them, but Teddy was probably the only one I'd actually call a friend, like someone I could have fun with. We used to go hunting together, and on hiking trips and safaris and stuff. He was a great guy, a real American!

**don't forget to recycle! **

I won't, I won't, jeez...

* * *

**love you answers!) here are my questions**

**I am huge fan of Ukraine and Canada pairing if they were a couple (like I want them to be) how would you react? **

Huh, I wouldn't mind. Ukraine's the one with the really big boobs, right? Yeah, she seems sweet. And she goes over to Canada's house to visit a lot...maybe they're already together! Like a secret affair or something. Heh, Canada's lucky he found someone who doesn't mind how boring he is.

* * *

**Dad! North and South Dakota are picking on me, can you tell them to stop?  
~Michigan **

Oh for Pete's sake, not again! Tell 'em to knock it off or I'll bend them both over my knee! They aren't too big for a spanking. Be sure you let 'em know that. Daddy doesn't like seeing his kids being mean to each other.

* * *

**America-san why are your sweets so colorful and bright? it is not normal. **

But they look so much more fun! It's more exciting than plain colored candy.

* * *

**Has no one ever heard of In-n-out? Only the most epically amazing fast food burger places ever. The lines at lunch are so long it blocks driveways. Only in California and a few other places though... You can order as many patties as you want if you ask for it! Even 100! It has fresh stuff too, super tasty! **

Man, I forgot In-n-Out! I hate having to wait so long for my food during the lunch rush, but it's awfully good stuff once you get it.

**I want to know if America likes California, after all California is all movies and is the birth place of many well known fast food joints. **

Of course I do! You know I love my Hollywood, right? But I worry about all the earthquakes she's been having lately...

**Also why do people call you America even though You are fully the United states of America? What about Canada? Though being called United States of America would be weird, and a mouthful. If you could choose a new name for yourself what would be be then? **

Guess I'm the most memorable part of America, huh? I dunno, I've been called America for so long...but they used to call me Columbia back when I was younger, so I guess that could be my name if I wasn't America.

* * *

**Question 1:  
America is it true that the Statue of Liberty was a marriage proposal from France? And since you kept it does that mean you guys are married?**

Wha-...who told you that?! I-it was just a nice present! He was absolutely NOT proposing to me! ...right?

**Question 2:  
Who was your favorite president and why?**

I tried answering this earlier, and it's a toughie...depends on what you mean by favorite. Lincoln was really important to me...he got me through stuff I thought would kill me. Well...I can't pick one favorite, but Lincoln is up there.

**Question 3:  
What was your opinion and reaction towards that case of McDonald's being sued by two obese girls?**

Oh jeez, again? Come on, even I know McDonald's isn't health food...but I'm not gonna stop eating it, 'cause it's way better than a salad or whatever.

**Question 4:  
What was your reaction and thoughts after reading the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer?**

These vampires aren't nearly as creepy as the original ones! It's hard to be scared of something sparkly. But I kind of like the love story part...  
**  
Question 5:  
Quidditch is real, whats up with that?  
./espn/page2/story?page=mccluskey/090722 **

I want to play too!

* * *

**Hola America!  
How are you, I hope you are doing awesome!**

I always am!

**Questions,**

**what's your favorite landmark in your country?**

Uhhh...I guess I like Mt. Rushmore a lot! Nothing says 'awesome' like carving your bosses' faces into a mountain!

**do you have a favorite holiday?**

I really like Christmas! It's so fun, and there's lots of food, and people are more friendly than usual, ans presents! But I like my birthday a lot too. Fireworks! I can't say no to fireworks. And BBQ. Can't say no to BBQ either.

**what's your favorite "american" passtime? **

You mean like sports? Football. Not soccer. Those guys in Europe always mix 'em up.

* * *

**hi America! i'm American (Filipino-American, but still), and i'm really proud to be in your home. ^^ here's some questions:  
1) do you hold a grudge against England for abandoning you? (i'm talking about the Roanoke settlement, where the supply ship from England was delayed, so they settlers jsut up and disappeared to later be executed by Powhatan.)**

Actually I was kind of surprised that he came back at all, in the very beginning. He wasn't very good at living on my land back then. Even though he said he wanted to take care of me, he was always complaining about how there were so many mosquitoes in the summer and how it was hard to grow things...so I thought he wouldn't really come back after he left the first time. But then he came back to make Roanoke, and I was really surprised. He must have really wanted to spend time with me if he came all the way over again, right? But then he left that colony and everyone in it to disappear, and I felt like he didn't really care after all. And then he comes back again to form the Jamestown colony, and he didn't get why I didn't want to play with him like I did when I first met him. Why should I, if he was just going to leave again and let all the people die? I think that's part of why he had so much trouble getting his settlements to work: I didn't really trust him for a while. Eventually he got me to believe in him...but you know, it's hard to forget stuff like that.

**2) why do you like hamburgers so much? i understand apple pie (who doesn't like it? :)).**

Because they'll delicious! You can put all kinds of different stuff on 'em and they're still good. I like options!

**3) which of the other countries are you best friends with?**

Hm, well, Japan's a good friend...Lithuania still comes over to visit every once in a while...of course I'm friends with my brothers, Canada and Australia and New Zealand...me and Poland are pretty good pals too...I guess you could call England a friend. Oh, and Israel! I'm her friend, even if things are kind of rough for her right now. And Russia...no, he's not really a friend, not like the other guys are, but he's not an enemy anymore either. Actually, I have no idea what Russia is right now. He's just _Russia_.

**4) is it sometimes awkward with all the different pairing going around (i.e. US/UK, US/Canada, etc.)**

YES. Do you know how awkward it is to stumble upon porn of yourself with somebody you know? And then you have to look them in the eye the next day at a meeting? Really really awkward. I guess some of the fluffy, nonsex stuff is okay...it's still weird to read about yourself like that.

**5) if Ben Franklin had had his way and the national bird ended up as the turkey, and it was on your flag, how do you think the others would have responded? (my friend says you would have won faster; England would have died laughing.)**

Yeah, they probably would have laughed...good thing I convinced everyone the eagle was better! Franklin said I was more like a turkey than an eagle 'cause they're brave and strong like eagles, but they're silly too. Which is totally stupid. I'm not silly!

**6) Hug? **

Sure thing!

* * *

...and that's it for today! See you later!


	4. Chapter 4

[AN: Wow, you guys have so many questions! Thanks for participating, this is fun! I'm going to jump straight into the questions this time.]

**...GRR!**

**You're the time traveling robot clone! Not me!**

**PS Mattie and I (the real America) are on good terms now... AKA WE'RE SEXING**

**OH YA**

**TAKE THAT, TIME TRAVELING ROBOT CLONE! **

AUGHGROSSGROSSGROSS

I'M NEVER GONNA GET THAT MENTAL IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD

You're officially my least favorite time traveling robot clone EVER. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

* * *

**Thanks for the advice, dad. They stopped. I just wish they wouldn't tease me about the bailout and how the Ford company is going bankrupt and how the Detroit Lions haven't been to a superbowland about my economy and the fact that my governor(sp?) is from Canada. I mean Uncle Canada is awesome, right? And you still like my cars, right? Ahem, I better compose my self before I break down crying. Well here is my question:  
Do you prefer the southern states to us northern ones? I mean you rarely visit us and Alaska is beginning to wonder if you forgot all about her. Well that is all I have. See you later.  
~Michigan  
P.S. You should know better than to play videogames at work, dad. You are possibly setting a bad example for the younger generations of people...Sorry for being a stick in the mud. **

Aw Michigan, it doesn't matter where your governor's from! Just look at California! She's got Ah-nold. Of course I like your cars best, I'm just...driving one of Germany's cars right now to, um...make him feel better about himself. Yeah! But you're still my favorite little car manufacturer in the world!

No way! I love all my states the same. I might have been spending a lot of time in the south lately, but I'll come visit you guys up north soon! Tell Alaska I most certainly haven't forgotten her, it's just a very long way for Daddy to travel when he wants to come visit! And uh...Daddy also might be trying to avoid a certain ex-governor of hers. It's nothing personal.

Don't be crazy, I'm promoting the importance of taking breaks while working hard! If you don't take video game breaks every once in a while, your brain will explode. It's a proven scientific fact.

* * *

**Hello Alfred!! I am a big fan of yours! I just like your heroic personality!So, to the questions:**

**1.)Without Texas, you look like your young colonial self, what is England's reaction**

Huh, I don't know. I'm kind of blind without 'em, so I really only take them off to shower and sleep and stuff. I'm not sure if he's seen me without glasses since I started wearing them. But even if I took them off in front of him, I probably wouldn't be able to see his face well enough to tell what his reaction is. Unless I got up close. Should I try anyway?

**2.)Do you sometimes wish you could be in a normal high school/college?**

Not really. All those teachers telling you what to do, making you study and write papers...no thanks! I have enough work as is. But going to football games and prom and stuff sounds like fun...I wouldn't mind that part.

**3.)Did George Washington actually have wooden teeth?**

Nope, they were hippo ivory! Actually, he had several pairs, all they all looked weird and gross. Poor guy always had such a bad time with his teeth. But he was still awesome, even with funny fake teeth!

**4.)What do you think of North Italy? I am asking this because both of you guys are hyperactive,cheery,and have endless energy and I am wondering if you are on good terms or at least friends.**

I love his food! But he always tells me I'm not cooking it right. Well, I think my Italian stuff's pretty good, but he made a huge dinner for me once and man, he's a genius in the kitchen! We get along pretty well. He's real friendly! Hard to believe the Mafia came from a cheerful guy like him.

**5.)What was it like when Prussia trained you during the  
Revolution?**

It was _loud. _He was always shouting, 'do this, do that, march faster, clean your guns, dig your latrines away from the kitchens,' on and on. I think he shouted at least half of everything he said. But me and my men learned a lot from him and that von Steuben guy. We weren't much of an army before that, but after the winter they trained us, we were the real deal!

**6.)Why does Cuba hate you?**

Uh...hard question. We kind of got in a fight while he was trying to become independent and all...and then he went and turned Communist, which was really uncool, and I told him it was really uncool...and things kind of went to hell in a handbasket. He wasn't too thrilled about that little missile crisis thing either, y'know, the one that almost turned into all out nuclear war? Yeah. Things have been a little rocky between us.

**Thank-you for answering~ **

**

* * *

**

**Hey America~! I had a few q's for ya if you don't mind.**

**1) What do you think of the lonely and sick Iceland?  
**

Huh? He's sick? I heard that volcano erupted...is that like really bad indigestion or something? Poor little fella.

**2) So if Russia were to try to steal the moon, what would you do?**

Kick his ass, obviously. That bitch has no idea the hell I would raise if he ever even tried.

**3) Will you say yes of Canada wants to become 'one' with you?**

...does he? He didn't seem too happy the other times I tried to get him to team up with me...well, sure! But he's going to have to cool it on the maple syrup.

**4) Do you ever eat salads. Ever? **

Sure! Like...that one time, a while ago...I totally do, I just can't think of an example right now. Does chicken salad count? Or potato salad?

* * *

**that great that Ukraine and Canada are hanging out! here are more questions.**

**who were your biological parents, if you have any?**

Countries don't have biological parents. We aren't born like humans are. I don't really get where we come from...it seems like we just appear out of nowhere. Mysterious!

**is the any kind of food england makes that you like?  
**

Well...I guess fish and chips is sort of okay.

* * *

**love you answers!) keep up the good work! questions,**

**are your glasses actually texas? also why do you wear them?**

Nah, I just call them that. They aren't really Texas! Like, if I broken them, it's not like Texas would suddenly have a huge earthquake or something. I just call them that because I got them at almost the exact same time I got Texas himself. I wear them because my eyesight is kind of sucky. My eyes were okay when I was a kid, but they started getting bad into the 19th century. So, I got glasses. My eyes have pretty much leveled out, thankfully, so I only have to get new glasses when I break an old pair. But I always call 'em Texas. It's just a thing.

**would you be sad if england got sick?(I'd like it if you said yes)**

Aw, he'll be fine. He always bounces back from stuff. I mean, if he got REALLY sick maybe I'd worry a little, but a cold won't keep him down for long.

**what anime and/or magna do you like?**

I like sci-fi, especially ones with giant robots! The Gundam series is fun...and Gurren Lagann. Japan and me watched it a few years ago and I loved it! Especially that Kamina guy! He's my kind of character! Simon's cool too, once he gets all badass and heroic.

**what was the cold war like for you?**

Cold! Naw, I'm kidding. It was really stressful. We never knew what was going to happen, if we were going to be at war tomorrow, if there'd even _be_ a tomorrow...I'm glad it's over. It's no fun to have to be so tense all the time. Probably would have given me an ulcer if I was a human.

**glad that you help Japan after WW2 bye **

* * *

**IM HAITIAN AMERICAN :D.**

**What do you think of Haiti? Is she a good friend, frienemy, or just a damsel in distress? (Cuz I heard she kinda has a thing for you?)**

She likes me? Aw shucks...I occupied her a while back, but after that I've been trying to give her a hand, help her out with her poverty problems and stuff. I hope she's doing better after her earthquake. Man, that was awful...

**Does America really run on Dunkin?**

I run on lots of stuff! But I do love those donuts...

**Burger King or KFC?**

I like both. But I like burgers more than fried chicken, so I guess I gotta go with Burger King.

**Your one regret?**

Slavery, definitely. It's the ugliest stain on my history, and it's been so hard to move past it. But hey, I've got a black president now! We've come a long way.

**Do you know how to do "The Jerk" or how to "Ride the Wave?"**

I know both! I always try to learn all the cool new dances that come up...I haven't done either in a while, though. They kind of went out of style.

**You and Russia used to be good friends. Would you want to go back to those days? Do you consider yourself in a Bad Bromance or in a "Friends who hate each other" relationship?**

Oh man...we really were close back in the day. Those were good times. But I don't think we can go back to just how we used to be. Too much has happened. And he's kind of an asshole now, and he was a MASSIVE asshole during the Cold War, but he was my best friend back in the 19th century...I-I guess it would be nice to be friends again, just maybe in a different way from before.

Right now, I guess we're 'guys who used to be friends, then hated each other for a while, and now don't hate each other so much but don't really know what to do with ourselves anymore.' I don't know how else to explain it. I think we're doing a little better these days.

**Your very first crush?**

Er...I might have had a tiny crush on France when I was younger. 'Cause he was all cool and sophisticated and helping with my revolution and...and giving me roses and kissing my hand and -

WAITWAITWAIT I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

**Does Mexico annoy you?**

Sometimes. This whole immigration thing is a headache. But she's kind of like a sister, you know? Since we're neighbors and grew up around the same time, just like me and Canada. I don't wanna fight with her.

**Favorite song?**

Other than my national anthem? Can't pick, I like lots of songs. But I love rock and roll a lot. I like Robert Johnson, Elvis, Led Zeppelin, Guns N' Roses, Rolling Stones, AC/DC, the Beatles...lots of stuff.

**People thought Canada (Matthew Willams aka YOUR BROTHER) was dating Lady Gaga? Any comments?**

Ha, yeah right! He'd probably jizz in his pants if he got within five feet of her. He's crazy about Lady Gaga.

**Ke$ha or Gaga?  
**

Probably Gaga. Her stuff is catchier.

**The happiest moment in your life so far?**

Hm...the first time I flew an airplane was a really happy moment...but so was the day we finally landed on the moon...one of those two, I think.

**Your favorite way to relax? (yoga, hanging with friends, a nice nap?)**

Playing video games, reading comic books or watching old western movies. They all help me unwind.

**The Simpsons, Family Guy, or both?**

Both! Man, they crack me up. Funny stuff.

**Glee or American Idol?**

I like both (Canada talked me into watching Glee), but if I have to pick then I say American Idol.

**If you picked Glee, your favorite character?**

Finn is my favorite! He's a good guy.

**Twilight or Harry Potter?**

Harry Potter. Harry's a better hero than Bella or Edward. And wouldn't it be so awesome to go to Hogwarts and play Quidditch and stuff?  
**  
Megan Fox or Beyonce? Which is hotter?**

Megan Fox, totally. She's smoking hot.

**Do you like the Jersey shore? What about Vampire Diaries? **

Actually, I haven't seen either yet. I've been so busy with work that I haven't had as much time to watch TV...are they any good?

**Did you know Walt Disney? Did you like him?**

Yeah, he was a really cool guy! He was kind of more serious than you might expect, but I liked him. And man did he make the best movies!

**Do you like my questions? Do you want me to ask more? *Gives homemade hamburger and homemade milkshake* I hope you say yes :) **

They were pretty good! Feel free to ask more, a hero leaves no question unanswered!

* * *

**Alfred,**

**Since Iggy has a nickname, why don't you come up one for yourself? And no, you can't chose "Hero"... **

How about _Super_hero? Suits me, doesn't it?

**How do you feel about the "special relationship" you have with Iggs?**

It's so stupid these days. England's been all 'the special relationship is over!' lately. Whatever, man. If he doesn't want to call it the 'special relationship,' I don't really care. He can call it a deep fried twinkie for all I care. It doesn't really change anything. We're still allies and all. He just gets all grumpy about dumb stuff.

**What's your fav animal besides the eagle...and whales. **

I like dogs. Can't beat man's best friend! I like lots of wild animals too...got a soft spot for rabbits.

**That's all for now!**

**PS: YOUR BRO'S DATING LADY GAGA OH GOD! **

No way! Shut up!

* * *

**Thanks for the answers, America-sama!**

**What do you think of your new boss, Barack Obama? Personally, he seems all talk to me. When I mentioned this to England, he laughed for some reason...**

Some stuff I like about him and some stuff I don't...overall, we get along pretty good. And I like that he's trying to help me get along better with other countries. I think I've made a lot of enemies with my last boss...

**Have you ever mistaken some other Nations for girls? I mean, come to think of it, Korea's right, China does have breasts...**

Not really...no, wait! One time I was over at Russia's house and I saw someone in a maid's dress, and I thought it was a woman...but then 'she' turned around, and it was Lithuania! That was awkward...

**Who was your least favorite boss? **

Jackson. He made me do a lot of awful things...I wish I had fought him over the Indian Removal Act and the Trail of Tears. Maybe I could have stopped it, but I didn't do anything. I just went along with it...why didn't I try harder to stop it...? It really bothers me now, looking back.

* * *

**Please, I don't know where else to turn! France has captured me and I'm locked in his basement! He's doing... terrible things to me. Just send me to Guantanamo Bay instead! **

Wha-?! Wha-wha-wha-WHAT?! How did FRANCE find you before me?! And there's no way whatever he's doing can be worse than....no, wait, I guess he could be worse if he's doing _that_. Fine, you're staying there. You deserve the worst!

* * *

**what's up yank?  
I see ya'r doin the "ask nation" thing too.**

...when did _you_ get here...? I thought you disappeared after the civil war...

**1. what's with ya an' hamburgers 'cause I think hot dogs (an' chili) are bet'er **

No way! Hot dogs are good, but hamburgers are the king of junk food!

**2. why didn't ya invite me ta thanksgiving?**

I didn't know you were still around! I mean, you kind of disappeared after the war ended...where have you been all this time?

**3. are ya ever gonna forgive me?**

I-I don't know...I don't want to fight you anymore or anything...as long as you don't try to split me up again, and admit that slavery was a very bad thing and we were right to give it up, then I guess I'm cool.

**see ya later ta'day yank.**

**

* * *

**

**I reviewed and asked questions the last two times, I'm just too lazy to log in right now . (I blame finals)**

**Amelia Earhart, hm? (/points/ I'm the person that was directed to. And here, more burgers.)**

Yeah, she was so spunky and cute and adventurous...but it wasn't meant to be, I guess.

**Have you had crushes on other people? (as in, not nations)**

**If so, were they all from America? Or elsewhere? **

Um...I-I really liked JFK. He was just so charismatic! I was depressed for a long time after he was killed...it's not fair.

Outside of my country...well, during my revolution...there was this one Polish guy. I can never pronounce his name. His first name was Thaddeus, and his last name started with a 'K'...Ko...Kos....Kosciusko? Does that sound right? Anyway, he was really cool, and he loved my declaration and stuff...he was really neat, all into fighting for freedom and justice and liberty. Maybe I liked him just a tiny bit. Don't tell Poland about that, I think he had a crush on that guy too.

**What about the other countries? Lots of people seem under the impression that England had a thing for Elizabeth I. He seems more like Oscar Wilde would be his type, but anyway, sh . **

I dunno about England...they say that queen was married to him, but I never asked. I bet he was crushing on Shakespeare, much as he talks about him.

Oh man, you know who was banging their boss? Russia was totally having a fling with that Catherine lady. The first time I visited St. Petersburg after my revolution, I walked in on them _having a moment_. They weren't undressing or anything, but they were awfully close to just be having a little chat, and Russia got all red and flustered, but I tell you, that Catherine was a cool customer. She acted like nothing had happened! And I asked Lithuania about it later and he said yeah, they really did have a _physical_ relationship when she was younger. I think he was in love with her...he was REALLY sad after she died. That's the problem with being with a human, you always out live them.

Oh, and I've heard rumors about Prussia and the guy he calls 'Old Fritz.' Some people say they had a father-son relationship, but other people say there were actually together. I don't know, I only met him once or twice, and Prussia seemed to really like him, but I can't tell if he liked him like that.

**...I feel like some sort of historical, bizarre, tabloid interviewer.**

**You mentioned Ben Franklin a couple times...did he ever tell you stories about all those rumored French...ladies...he apparently knew overseas? **

Heh heh, all the time! Ben was verrrrry popular with the French ladies, you know!

**Also, I feel you should know that you've added another layer to the already unhealthy love of bomber jackets that I harbor. **

Good! Bomber jackets are awesome.

* * *

**QUESTIONS:  
1) Становит одно с Россия, да? (Just 'cause you probably won't know what that means :3)**

...I think that last word is 'da,' so I'm gonna go ahead and say 'nyet!'

**2) WHY THE HELL DO AMERICANS FEEL THE NEED TO BE THE HERO?!?!? I swear, I'm the only sane person in America...**

Hey now, don't go bashing the hero's way! There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a hero!

**3) Have you ever been on deviantart?**

That's that art site, right? Yeah, I think I've been on there once or twice. There's some cool stuff!

**4) Do you understand Deutsch (GERMAN! NOT DUTCH)**

A little. I've had a lot of German immigrants, so some of their language kind of rubbed off on me.

**5) Who is your favourite country? (YOU CAN'T SAY JAPAN OR YOUR SELF!! IF YOU DO, I WILL BURN A HAMBURGER!)**

Other than me or Japan...Lithuania's a pretty cool guy! Let's say Lithuania.

**6) I'm currently holding a professional hockey stick. Are you afraid? (You should be )**

Oh yeah? Well, let me go get my Louisville Slugger bat and we'll see if you're still talking big!

**7) You're an idiot. Did you know that?**

Hey! What did I ever do to you, huh?!

**8) Do you like hockey?**

It's okay. I'm not crazy over it like Canada, but it can be fun.

**9) I HATE FOOTBALL! HOW DO YOU FEEL 'BOUT THEM APPLES?**

Well, you hate heroes and called me an idiot, SO YOUR OPINION IS NULL AND VOID.

**~Ravebunny864~**

**P.S: I am a ninja, hiding in your closet... KolKolKolKolKol... **

Quit being a creeper! You're starting to sound like Russia when he's having one of his episodes...

* * *

**Wow, funny, so funny ^o^**

**- First, I have some sweet for you, since my specialty is making desserts.**

Wow, thanks! I like you already!

**- Ah, would you give me a bisous?**

Huh? What's that? Is it food?

**- You sure are cool, I'm one of your fan, you know.**

Really! I knew you were a cool person!

**- Mind if I ask some private question?**

Sure, go nuts!

**- Can you swim?**

Yeah, I'm a pretty good swimmer! I'm no Michael Phelps, but I can keep my head above water just fine.

**- Can you speak Chinese?**

Just a tiny bit. I have lots of different immigrants, and I end up picking up little bits of all their different languages. I'm not fluent, but I know 'yes' and 'no' and a few basic words.

**- How would you react if one of the female nations confesses her love to you? what if that's Hungary? or Taiwan? Vietnam? Liechtenstein? Belarus?  
**

Gosh, does one of them like me? I never knew! I guess I'd be surprised...well, less surprised if it's Belarus, since she stayed at my house for a while and we actually got to know each other. I'd be real surprised if it was Vietnam. I thought she still hated me.

**- Ah, would you share me a burger?**

Sure thing! How do you like your burgers? With cheese? Ketchup? Pickles?

**- What if England invite you to a tea party?  
**

I'd go, just to make fun of his scones and girly tea cups.

**- Do you like French cuisine?  
**

Stuff like escargot is gross, but France has AWESOME deserts.

**- Other than fastfood, what food do you like the most?  
**

I like all kinds of American food, like gumbo! You can't beat a good gumbo.

**- Is there something you are afraid of?**

...I'm not a big fan of ghosts. They're just too creepy!

**- What first comes to your mind when I say the following words: flag, purple, cat, war, explossion, France?**

Flag = stars and stripes

Purple = bruises

Cat = Garfield

War = guns

Explosion = fireworks

France = Eiffel Tower

….I'm talking about the literal Eiffel Tower. That's what France calls his junk too, but that's NOT what I'm talking about here! ...why does everything sound wrong when I'm talking about France...

**- Do you mind WW3?  
**

Yes I mind! The last two world wars weren't all that fun. Yeah, I got rich on the second one and got to be a hero for lots of people, but it was still pretty lousy. I don't want to do it again.

**- Do you have any collection? do you like cute things?  
**

I collect comic books...and I've got lots of Disney stuffed animals. Does that count as cute?

**- If you lose a bet and your punishment is to date a female nation, who will be your choice?  
**

I guess Belarus, since we got along okay in the past...I mean, she only tried to stab me twice the whole time she lived me with. That's pretty good! I wonder if Russia would mind...

**- Can you cook?  
**

Mostly just instant stuff, like Easy Mac. I don't have time to cook for myself much.

**- Is there something that you - the awesome America can't do?  
**

I can't ignore a damsel in distress! How about that? ...I also can't read maps all that well. There's too many lines and squiggles and stuff...they're confusing!

**- What is your dream? your wish?  
**

Hm...my dream...I guess I'd like to meet more aliens, and explore space more! Maybe get somebody to Mars, since we already got to the moon.

**- Other than your family, is there any nation you like?  
**

I like Japan, and Lithuania, Poland, Israel...sometimes Russia...

**- Want to drink vodka with me?  
**

Ew, no! Vodka's gross!

**- What if Canada says that he hates you?  
**

...he's said it before a few times...but he always apologized afterward...

**- Which flower do you like?**

I like roses. They're my national flower for a reason, y'know!

**- Oh, sorry, I don't tend to tease you. Do you like some gateaux now?**

What's 'gat-oh'? I think France gave me some once...it's like a cake, isn't it? Yeah, I love cake!

**- My, I know that you are male, but sure you are cute.**

Knock it off! I'm not cute!  
**  
- Can you guess my gender and my nationality? Simple, eh?**

Um...you've mentioned French stuff a few times, so I'm gonna guess that you're French? And gender...I think you're a girl. Am I right?

**- Thanks for spending your time with me. Shake hand. Bisous.  
**

I keep telling you, I don't know what those bisous things are!

**- Hope to interview you again soon *evil grin* **

**

* * *

**

**BWAHAHAHA! I have just returned from Brasil! AND I JUST GOT THE SEQUEL TO ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK. IT'S AMAZING.**

**I seem to have missed the last question session due to my vacation. I hope you do not mind. BUT GOOD NEWS. While I was in Brasil, I thought of a couple of questions!**

**NUMBER 1  
Can you play any instruments? I play the piano, WE COULD TOTALLY BE IN A BAND IF YOU COULD.**

I can play the harmonica and the trumpet. It's mostly jazz stuff on the trumpet. Do you like jazz? I always wanted to be in a jazz band...

**NUMBER 2  
MY SCHOOL SAID THAT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE FOR LUNCH NEXT YEAR. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? NO MCDONALD'S.**

What is this injustice?! I think your school might be run by communists!

**NUMBER 3  
I had a scary dream that Russia kidnapped me the other day...Any suggestions on how to cope with that? **

Let's see...remove everything remotely related to Russia from your house! Take out any bottles of vodka, chess boards, Tetris games on any system...and I think you should avoid the color red, just to be safe. That should stop the dreams!

**NUMBER 4  
So if you were stranded by yourself, as in the only Ally, with the Axis powers on that one island, what do you think would happen?**

You mean back during WWII? I dunno...I guess I'd try to temporarily get us all to team up and find a way off the island! Even if I beat them myself, it would suck to be trapped on the island afterward.

**NUMBER 5! (Last one, I swear)  
Do you have a schedule in the morning? Like, for example, I get up (usually late), brush my teeth while getting dressed, and run out the door to school?  
And...Um...Yeah...If you notice any of your clothes or undergarments are missing...It wasn't me...**

On weekdays, I get up at 6:00, take a cold shower, get dressed, do some push-ups, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and I'm good to go! On the weekends, I sleep until noon and take it easy.

Huh, now that you mention it, my boxer drawer looks kind of empty...that's so weird...

* * *

**Lol. I'm an american too. JA AMERIKANKA! (I'm American in Russian.)**

**1:WEAR A DRESS!**

Wha-...no! No way!

**2:Do You hate Russia? I will kill you if you say yes. XD Jk! **

...I don't really hate him right now. He can be an obnoxious asshole, but I don't want to kill him or anything.

**But if you said you hated Lithuania, I'd most likely kill you. How did you meet Lithuania and how did you get along?**

Shoot, why would I hate Lithuania? He's a cool guy! We first met...I think it was early in the 19th century, one of the first times I went to visit Russia's house. Lithuania was still a servant there, and he was really nice to me. I don't think Russia liked that we were talking, though...he was always weird about Lithuania. And then I only saw him every once in a while, until he came to live with me for a bit. We've always gotten along. How do you not get along with someone that nice?

**3:Favorite color?**

It's a three-way tie between red, white and blue!

**4:I agree that England's cooking sucks. XD My cat died. T.T Can you dance in a frilly Chii from Chobits dress to cheer me up? T-T**

Sorry about your cat, but...what? I don't know what a Chii or a Chobits is, but I don't wear frilly stuff as a rule.

**5:Do you think its weird that I look like a girl version of Lithuania except my eyes are brown and I look like a more flat-chested Ukraine, and act like Lithuania and Russia combined? (I seriously look like a mix of the two except for my eyes and act like Russia and Lithuania. XD)**

Uhh...I guess not? …are you Russian? Or Lithuanian? Or Ukrainian? I'm confused now.

**6:Can you sing Marukaite Chikyuu - Poland version? I like his.  
**

That depends, is it in Polish? Polish words are so hard to pronounce!

**Thats all for now! **


	5. Chapter 5

(AN: Sorry this is late again, life has been busy. I'm taking the advice from the reviews and including names from now on. Thanks!)

Hi guys! I'm back again to answer questions! Did you all miss me?

* * *

**Gerosan:**

**Hi, America(na)!**

**1) Rather serious... .-. How did you get into doing slavery in the first place? Did someone force/trick you? You're always adamant about 'freedom' and everything, so I was just wondering if you ever secretly helped the African(-Americans) sometimes. Like Sojourner Truth? Harriet Tubman? And afterward, Mr. Luther King?**

Well...England still had slaves back when he first met me, and he started having more slaves shipped to me to work in the fields and stuff...and it just kept going from there. It's hard to stop once you start something like that. We tried to get rid of slavery at the beginning of my revolution, but the southern states wouldn't go along with it. After that, things got more complicated. I felt sick when I'd think about it too much, because I'm all about freedom for everyone, but I couldn't really figure out a way to stop it altogether, you know? But the slaves were people, _my_ people, just like everyone else who lives on my land, and when the Underground Railroad started getting big, I helped a couple families get away. I hated that they had to run away from me to be happy...and then the civil war and the Emancipation Proclamation happened, and things were still rough, but it was a big turning point. And we're still trying to work past all of that...the civil rights movement helped a lot. Dr. King was a really great guy. I went to the March on Washington to hear him speak, and man...I've never heard anything like that. I was honestly moved to tears, I'm not even gonna lie about that. I want all my people to be free and happy and equal, and anyone who helps us get closer to that dream coming true is awesome in my book.

**2) How does it feel to go against your bosses? :3 Harhar~ Wish you could do it more often?**

Um...I always feel weirdly guilty when I do. It's almost like fighting with a parent, when you feel like you're supposed to obey them 'cause that's just how things go. But when they're really messing things up, I get over the guilty feeling and let 'em have it!

**3) If there was any current issue (besides the recession) that you'd like to change in your country, then what would it be?**

I guess I'd like all the immigration problems to go away. I don't know how to make everything work so everyone's happy, but I wish it would all magically fix itself so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

**4) If you were to get married (hypothetically!), where would be your ideal honeymooning spot? In your house, and outside the country~? (I vote Hawaii! 3)**

I'd probably stay in my own land. Why not, it's beautiful! Hawaii's probably let me stay at her place, but it might be really romantic to go somewhere up in the Rockies too. A nice little mountain cabin, all to ourselves...

But if my hypothetical wife was really hellbent on it, I wouldn't be totally against staying somewhere on their land for our honeymoon. Like, if he just absolutely HAD to have our honeymoon in St. Petersburg then I wouldn't...mind...uh, just to clarify, I'm not saying the hypothetical wife I just imagined was Russia. I-I'm just naming the first city that came to mind, okay? Don't read too much into this stuff.

**5) How do you feel about Antarctica? o.o**

It's colder than balls down there. But the penguins are really cute!

**6) What's your favorite style of clothing? XD 2nd favorite?~**

The blue jeans and T-shirt look, of course! It's All American! I guess I like the western style second best. Y'know, cowboy hat and chaps and stuff.

**7) Rose is your national flower?? ...Did you get that from France, by any chance? Hahaha~ :3**

No way! I mean, he said it was a good choice and all, but I picked roses 'cause I like 'em. They're pretty, right? And they naturally grow on my land, and they can come in red and white, and blue sometimes if you mess with the genetics, so it's a totally American flower!

**8) D|...Why won't your current boss leave Iraq and Afghanistan alone?...DX**

Uh...well...we haven't really fixed things over there yet...but I think we've kind of made it worse too...I don't know. It's hard to leave now when we're still in so deep.

**9) Since you said you like Harry Potter, does this mean you prefer (some of) England's stories more than your own? Haha. If not, what's your favorite American novel?**

Harry Potter's just an exception! ...okay, England's got a few good writers, but mine are totally better! My favorite novel...maybe To Kill a Mockingbird. I like heroes, and Atticus Finch is a great one!

**10) What kind of a drunk are you? (Happy/woozy drunk, really depressed drunk, ultra excited, etc...)**

I'm a fun drunk! England says I'm really loud, but he's just jealous that I'm actually fun to hang out with when I drink, while he just gets all weepy and nobody wants to party with a drunk crybaby.

**11) Do you have a favorite movie? :33**

Casablanca! Here's looking at you, kid! We'll always have Paris!

I love movies, but you can't beat an old classic like Humphrey Bogart.

* * *

**Kiki4ever:**

**Hello :) I have more questions~**

**do you wake up in the morning feeling like P-diddy?**

Put my glasses on, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city-...wait, what?

**Ever had to wear braces? They suck :(**

Nope, I've got pretty good teeth. I got lucky...I hate the dentist. Having people stick their hands in my mouth just feels gross.

**was there anytime in your life when you would call yourself kinda shy?**

I guess I was kind of shy when I was really little. When all the guys from Europe started coming over, I'd just hide and watch them 'cause I was too scared to go talk to them. But then I got over it when I found out that they weren't scary. It's hard to be scared of England after you've seen him get all blubbery about something. But then, I really hated seeing him cry when I was a kid. I thought something really bad must have happened if he was ever crying. ...well, I was just a little kid back then.

**Would you call yourself hip?**

I am _totally _hip. Jeans and t-shirts never go out of style!

**Is being a hero stressful? Name one point in your life when it was the most stressful.**

It actually can be really stressful...I guess after 9/11 was one of the most stressful times, because my people really needed a hero to fix things and make them feel safe again...but I didn't know how to do that. And I don't think I made the right choices back then either. I wasn't much of a hero then...not the kind they needed me to be.

**One thing you would do to better your country?**

Uh...try to be greener? I'm working on it! I recycle and everything!

**Did you here about the car bomb incident in time square? I'm glad someone caught it...how's NY?**

Yeah, that was scary...New York's okay, he was just kind of shaken up. Terrorism makes him really nervous, you know. But he's tough. He just deals with stuff and moves on, just like his old man!

**Do you read the tabloids?**

Sometimes. I like the ones where some lady marries Big Foot, or Elvis isn't really dead! Fun stories are the best ones.

**Blimpies, Subway, or Quick Check?**

Can I pick all three?

**Oddest thing your bosses every had you do?**

….er...well...we all did things we weren't proud of during the Cold War...and uh...when Johnson was my president, we had a spy mission going on...and he suggested that I dress in drag as a disguise. ...b-but it worked, y'know! I mean, Russia never caught me, so I guess it ended up being a good idea, but...yeah. ...I totally rocked that dress I had to wear, though.

**You have a facebook?**

Yeah, but boss says I'm not allowed to play on it at work anymore...what a party pooper.

* * *

**Marina Nyah:**

**(Dayum, I read your answers and Im sorta happy I dropped Ask Alfred. You are much better at this then me. xD)**

(AN: Don't say that, I liked reading your answers!)

**Your MY least favourite time traveling robot clone!**

**I'M the real America!**

**-glare- **

LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

I DON'T SPEAK STUPID TIME TRAVELING ROBOT.

* * *

**Connecticut:**

**Hi dad it's Elizabeth  
How come you hardly ever visit me? I mean it's baseball season so New York an Massachusetts are at each other's throats over here... Plus It's getting warmer and I would like to enjoy the weather here and not have to keep them away from my house. Anyways hope to see ou soon.**

**Love, Elizabeth(Connecticut)**

Sorry hon, I've just been busy! I'll come visit as soon as I can get a break, okay? Wanna go see a baseball game together? I'll buy you a hotdog! And tell New York and Massachusetts to settle down. I swear, they get so crazy every year...

* * *

**Gothkitty:**

**Hi America how are you? :3 I'm from Hawaii. I have a few comments and questions.**

**- Why do you keep on making Americanize remakes of foreign movies/ live action versions of cartoons? Especially Japan's anime? I'm sorry to say but they really suck. **

They don't suck! Shut up! They're just...a different kind of awesome, okay?

**- Is Hawaii still mad at you for dethroning the monarchy? I know a lot of anger is still going about..Kind of don't blame them. I'm glad we're part of the USA but still...I don't like it how a few people still assume we live in grass huts or are uneducated. Not cool at all D:.**

...I think she's okay about it. It's been a looooong time since we last argued, so I guess she's not mad anymore. Don't worry about those people who give you guy and Hawaii a hard time, they're always gonna be some folks like that. Hell, Kentucky was just complaining to me the other day about how people think he doesn't wear shoes and can't read. It's just stupid talk. Don't let it bother you.

**- Do you like spam musubis? :D y/n? It's pretty good. Think of it as a ginormous sushi with spam.**

Never had one, but I like sushi and I like spam, so they gotta go good together, right?

**- Do you like the show the X-files? **

Oh, I haven't seen that show in a long time! I really liked it, all the stuff about aliens is right up my ally.

**- What do you think of Zombie movies?**

I love zombie movies, especially the old classics like Night of the Living Dead. I'm not a big fan of ghosts, but zombies are fine.

**- If Japan's horror videogames don't effect you like movies try play the Fatal Frame series D:. You'll seriously never look at antique cameras the same way again. I recommend the 2nd game :3.**

Sure! Japan makes some good games, but he's got a weird idea of what's scary. The monsters in his horror games are always so funny looking.

**- I heard the White House is haunted...Have you had any experiences there?**

Don't remind me! I've seen all kinds of scary stuff there...a ghost walking through the rose garden, or thumping around upstairs...I heard Jackson's ghost shouting one time. And I've seen Lincoln's ghost walking around the halls a few times...it was scary, but I kind of wonder if his ghost is sticking around to look out for me...?

**Well that's all ^^. Thanks for your time! **

* * *

**Owlstar7 (Michigan):**

**Aww, dad, it is hard to upset when you are around. Though I am a little confused about what you meant by saying that Germany needed to feel better about himself...I guess that is just a nation thing, huh?**

Y-yeah...don't worry about it, just a nation thing.

**Yeah I talked to Alaska and she understood. Heck, she tries avoiding her ex-governor...but it never seems to work. I think that might be the reason why Russia offered her a hiding place...**

WHAT. I hope she said no! I bet he's trying to steal her back, that bastard...can't trust him any further than you can throw him, and you can't throw that fat ass very far!

**Oh well. Here is my questions:  
1. How should I address the other nations? I mean, some of them are very close to us states (such as France, Spain, Russia, and England), so it seems weird to address them properly...with the exception of Mr. Switzerland and Mr. Austria of course. **

I think it's okay to call 'em by their names, unless they make a fuss about it. If you're somewhere fancy then maybe you should call 'em Mr. or Ms., but otherwise I'd just use their normal name. Except England. You should call him Gramps, 'cause it'll piss him off!

Oh, and don't forget to use their human names if you're out in public. Don't want any normal folks to overhear and think something weird's going on.

**2. In one of my cities, Holland to be exact (yes I know, he named it after himself), they have a tulip festival. Well, every year, Holland (or the Netherlands if you prefer) always shows up and causes a big mess of things (well the festival goes okay, but I digress.) How can I tell him that he is not welcome without offending him?**

Uh, just tell him you'd rather have the festival over at his house! See if that works.

**3. Why does it seem like the other nations (France, Spain, and Russia) were nicer to their territories, when a certain other nation, *coughEnglandcough*, seemed to forget about his? I mean, if it weren't for Uncle Canada, I don't know where I would be. England just forgot about me! **

That is because England's a jerk and only cared about colonies who made him a bunch of money, and the minute you do something to lose him money he gets his panties in a bunch and closes the port in Boston just because you trashed his tea and-..I'm not still bitter about it. I was just using an example. Point is, England's a jerk to his colonies sometimes.

**...Sorry if it seemed like I was ranting. Anyways, I guess I will see you later, dad.  
~Michigan  
P.S. On what I said about playing videogames while working...Blame England for that! He raised me in my early years. Or Blame France, he was raising me before England! **

I should have known. They're such a bad influence!

* * *

**The Confederacy/Alice F. Jones:**

**well if ya must know, I've been travelen.  
I been ta Russia, France, Turkey, Brazil, China, Japan, South Africa an' now my in England.  
Why didn't they tell ya?**

Don't ask me! Maybe they didn't recognize you or something...I'd think they would have told me if they knew you were around.

**ya ... ya forgive me.*teary eyes and huges* thank ya big brother!!  
( I haven't called ya that since before the war)**

S-sure! We're all family here, y'know.

**all right quastons time.  
1. Why are ya so BIG on be'en the hero all the time?**

'Cause I like to help people out. It's nice to have someone rely on you and need you. And everybody needs a hero sometimes, even if they say they don't.

**2. What ever happen ta presedent Lincoind?( ya know the tall guy who never told a lie)**

Oh...didn't you hear? He...he was killed, not too long after the civil war ended. I guess you weren't around then. It was awful...he was one of the best presidents I ever had, y'know.

**Hot Dogs are bet'er. **

Nope!

* * *

**L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl:**

**Actually, I'm American by birth. XD**

**1:...WHY DO WE PARK IN A DRIVEWAY AND DRIVE IN A PARKWAY?!**

Huh...good question. I dunno. I guess we just do.

**2:Seven days. . . XD**

…!!! C-come on, I know th-that's just a movie! D-don't think you can creep me out like that!

**3:ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO RUSSIA!**

The hell they are! And you can tell him to keep his grubby paws off my bases, you hear!?

**4:IMMA FAHRIN MAH LAZAR! **

...what laser? Like a laser gun? Did you get one from Tony?

**5:. . . .You just lost the game. . . XDD**

_What_ game? I'm all confused now.

**6:QUICK! YOUR VITAL REGIONS ARE BEING INVADED BY HUNGARY! XD"**

Wha-...when...dammit, I knew I couldn't trust her! ...wait, I'm not being invaded. Is she planning to or something?

**(I know they aren't questions, but I AM SUGAR-HYPER!) **

* * *

**Hugglestheknowitall:**

**Hello! Hugglestheknowitall is here again! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**1) MEIN GOTT. YOU PLAY THE HARMONICA AND THE TRUMPET? THAT'S AMAZING! NOW ALL WE NEED IS A BASS OR SOMETHING AND WE CAN START OUR JAZZ BAND! WHATTAYA SAY?**

I say that sounds awesome. But where are we gonna find a bass?

**2) I tried everything you said to stop the dreams...BUT THEY PROGRESSED TO FRANCE D:**

Okay, now take everything French out of your house! No wine, no roses, no fancy French food. We'll figure this thing out sooner or later!

**3) What's you favorite kind of weather?**

Sunny summer days, when there's not a cloud in the sky. That's the best!

**4) Umm...You're kinda my favorite country... *blushes* **

Aw, glad to hear it!

**5) Did you ever go to school?**

Naw, if would just cause a fuss since nations don't age like humans. I got most of my basic education from private tutors, and then I picked up more stuff from different people as I went along. Got to learn about space straight from the guys at NASA!

**6) C-can I hug you? **

Of course you can! I like a good friendly hug every once in a while.

* * *

**almostinsane:**

**I'm sorry to hear about Jackson, America-sama. I didn't like him either.**

**So, I was just curious. What kind of girls do you like? Race, ethnicity, hair color, etc. Would you like a female France or female England?**

I'm not that picky about race and hair color and stuff...I guess I usually like shorter girls, ones that have a lot of energy and are kinda tomboyish and fun. Man, I can't even imagine France as a girl. And I bet England'd be goofy looking.

**What do you think about the Indians now that they're all assimilated or on reservations? **

...I feel bad about it. I've been trying to fix things lately, but I dunno if this is something I can fix. But I can try to make the reservations a little better, right? That's better than nothing, isn't it?

* * *

**NightWolfMoon:**

**hi! i'm back and have more questions! ^^  
1) some of my friends and i are called by different countries for fun. any advice on how to keep Russia from trying to take back Estonia and Latvia (she even tried to take Canada and me (Italy)... not fun...)?**

If she's anything like the real Russia, just give her a whole lot of vodka and run away when she's too drunk to chase you.

**2) when you were a kid, did you take food from France? did England know?**

Yep! France said he felt sorry for me 'cause I was living off such lousy food, so he'd sneak me sweets every once in a while. But then England found out and made him stop, said he's consider it an act of war if France didn't quit trying to steal me away by tempting me with food, or whatever. England's no fun...

**3) do any of your kids (states) have accents you find weird?**

Nah, I'm used to them all. And my accent tends to shift depending on who I'm talking to, so it'd be weird if I thought the way I talk sounds funny, right?

**4) i saw the questions from Confederate. what happened to him? and how did... like, he pop up and all?**

The Confederacy was a girl, actually. I'm not sure where she came from...I think she just appeared one day, like my states. I thought she died after the civil war, but it looks like she was just lying low for a while.

**5) favourite food from a different country?**

I love Italy's food. Nobody does pasta quite like him!

**6) did you ever know about any of your bosses' mistresses? (like, one of our history classes at school has a Tshirt with a picture of George Washington on the front saying: "George Washington couldn't tell a lie..." then a picture of a girl on the back: "... but he sure could keep a secret.")**

...I-I walked in on Clinton once...had nightmares for a month. Don't want to talk about it.

**7) how'd you feel about Jackie Kennedy redecorating the White House?**

She did a pretty good job with it! She had really good taste with that kind of stuff, and it all turned out nice. And the place was kind of dreary looking before hand, so you won't hear me complaining about it.

**8) this one's for Alaska: do you ever miss Russia?**

DON'T ANSWER THAT, ALASKA. She definitely doesn't. I'm much better to live with than Russia.

**okay, i'm here with Georgia, and she wants to say something to Michigan:  
Daddy's been spending more time in the south, 'cause he likes us best. South Carolina and Alabama agree with me. **

I've told you kids a million times, I don't have favorites! Quit trying to pick fights with your brothers and sisters.

* * *

**curakura:**

**how did you get so strong? **

I dunno, I've been strong ever since I was little. I guess having to live off the land when I was tiny made me tough. It's not a life for a softy!

* * *

**confused:**

**how come your skin is white despite that you are technically "native american"? sorry if this question bugs you. **

Not sure, I was just born that way. Or popped into existence that way, since we aren't really born... I thought it was weird back when I was little and had never seen a white person before. I thought something was wrong with me, that's why I was so pale.

* * *

**kittymimi200:**

**Alfredo~!**

**Do you read fanfictions??**

Those are those stories people write about us nations sometimes, right? Yeah, I've read a few.

**And if yes, what's your OTP? ;D **

...You mean who do I think should be together? I dunno...I guess Italy and Germany make a cute couple. And I'm like, 90% sure there's been a little hanky panky going on between Canada and Ukraine, so I guess I like them together too. Was that what you were asking?

**Can you really see Russia from Alaska like the governer says?**

I dunno, I haven't tried. Maybe if you stand way far out on that chunk of land that sticks out close to Russia and squint, you could see him. But why would you bother? Unless you wanted to spy on him when he's in the shower or something weird.

**If you could cosplay as another nation, who'd you be?**

Probably Canada, 'cause it'd be really easy.

**Thats all, bye! **

* * *

**-Fushigi no Kuni-:**

**Hey...  
Yeah...So I just found this and thought I'd give it a shot. I'm an American so I'm allowed to pick on you, 'kay? :D**

**1) You sure like Florida and California...what about New York (I 3 NY :P)??**

Yep, I love New York too. I love all my states equally! And New York has Broadway, which is fun.

**2) Have you ever met a person who you thought was amazing but wasn't really famous at all?**

Yeah, I've met a lot of awesome soldiers over the years who probably never got into the history books, but were still amazing and heroic anyway. Unsung heroes kind of thing.

**3) Are you mad about the recent oil spill crisis and how they gave us false information at first? And how the government ignored it at first? I know my teacher sure as heck is...**

Yeah, and it's such a disaster right now...not that it really matters now, long as they figure out how to stop it and fix it up!

**5) American Patriotism! Can I have a hug?**

Yup! Hugs are always available to Americans!

**Well, I guess that's all for now~!**

**P.S. YOU'RE NOT AS AWESOME AS PRUSSIA~! (xD He's his own brand of awesomeness that tops ALL other brands of awesome. ALL of them... :P)  
Kesesesesese~! **

Pfft, whatever! At least I'm still a real country!

* * *

**StrawberryPanic!thedisco:**

**lol PROOF!: YOUR BRO IS SO TOTALLY DATING GAGA!  
**yeahladygaga./post/387801577/lady-gagas-secret-boyfriend-revealed**

**How do you feel about that? **

...that's got to be a different Mathew Williams. NO WAY.

* * *

**Ranchdressing:**

**Hello there. My name is Ranchdressing and I like to watch you in your sleep. (Not really...)**

**In any case, if you were to control any nation for a day and make them do whatever you want, who would it be and why?**

I guess I'd pick Russia and make him tell me all the secret stuff he covered up during the Cold War. And some other stuff too. That guy's always keeping secrets from me, even when we were friends...

**Did my first sentence creep you out?**

Uh, yeah, a little. Why?

**I love you Alfred, and I'll keep all those other nations away from you~! KOLKOLKOLKOL! **

No thanks! I can keep 'em away on my own!

* * *

**crazyanimechick123:**

**Hi there America! I like have a some q's 4 u to answer!  
1)Do you like, still remember Philippines?(If u dont I will kill u! Cause that's my home country!)**

Sure I do! I got her from Spain way back when...and we fought some...and the Japan took her over during WWII, but then she got her independence, and we're pretty good allies these days! ...I think.

**2)When do u think that you'll have a female president?(Cause in the Philippines, I think they have or already had one.)**

Maybe in the near future? Since I've got my first black president now, I bet we can have a female president someday soon too.

**3)What do u think about the fact that most of the Europeans cant ride planes due to the volcanoe erupting in Iceland?(I think its kinda funny cause my cousin is stuck in England kekeke XD)**

Sucks to be them! That must have been one hell of a volcano!

**4)Dont u find it weird that u are paired up with a lot of countries that u either don't like or don't know that well?(,USXIceland ect.)**

I think pairing me up with anyone is weird! Why does anyone care about my romantic life anyway? It's not that interesting, is it?

**5)How did u end up on that island with the axis?I mean..that seemed strange & how did u like..get off?**

We dropped in by plane! Getting off was harder...we had to wait for a boat. Probably should have thought the whole thing through a little better.

**6)Why do u think China uses cooking utensils 4 weapons?* knocked out Germany & Japan with a wok & a ladel***

It's resourceful! Like MacGyver or something!

**Also heres a present!*gives america some homemade hamburgers* ^^**

Awright! Thanks!

**From a very hyper fan,  
crazyanimechick123 **

**

* * *

**

**ZazieCurie:**

**Hello. Nice to meet you, Mr. Alfred. ^^  
How are you?**

**I'm from Portugal (that little piece of land attached to Spain). What's your  
opinion on the country? (be as honest as you like)**

Hm, we're not really close...I don't know him that well, I only really talk to him at meetings and stuff, but he seems okay!

**Small note: we haven't forgot on your victory over us in 2002's worldcup. (we  
sucked so much that year...)**

I'm always up for a rematch, if you guys wanna try again!

**Your opinion on the Watergate incident?**

It SUCKED. I can't believe Tricky Dick was involved in something so shady...what a jerk.

**Okay, i have this funny thing that I would like you to do:  
Summorize (sp?) in one word the following eras/decades:**

**19th century – **Civil War (does that count as one word?)**  
1900's – **airplanes!**  
1910-20's – **jazz!**  
1930-40's **depression...and WWII**  
1950-60's** – Cold War and hippies**  
1970-80's – **more Cold War and disco**  
1990-nowadays – **Trying to clean up Cold War mess now.

...I went over the one word limit. That was hard.

**That's it for now. Thank you for your attention and best luck! ^^ **

**

* * *

**

Well, that's it for now! See you guys later!


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